I hate you and then I love you. It’s like, I feel like throwing you off a cliff but at the same time I want to rush to the bottom and catch you. That’s how I feel about Thanksgiving. Primarily because it’s my designated hosting holiday. On one hand I really enjoy cooking, gobbling and mingling and on the other hand I hate the other duties that come along with hosting . . . cleaning, preparing lists, shopping (several trips to different stores multiple times) but most of all I hate the fighting!
So, you may think it’s the holidays and I’m fighting with my immediate family that I can’t stand, that would be quite inaccurate! I really do love my family which is probably why I put myself through this every year but the fighting is with my husband. We are high school sweethearts and we really are each other’s best friends. But we are not besties the week of thanksgiving. My husband’s reaction this year when I asked him to clean our bedroom (which he thought was unnecessary because no one will be up there) responded to my request with a grunt and an “ok” and then 5 minutes later, he comes into the kitchen and says, “We were just in a good place and for the past 20 minutes I just started liking you again but right now I really fuckin’ hate you!”
Let’s dissect this a little more, “We were just in a good place.” he says? That means we were just fighting and things just got better for a little bit. We were fighting all week. Many times throughout the week in fact and I just came off like a nagging sweet little peach (not really, but I’m sticking to this). What can I say? When I’m stressed I’m a bitch and not to mention the fact that I was also sick with a head cold and my monthly visitor had impeccable timing this year so that further amplified my bitch quotient. I asked myself so many “why”questions during this time. Like, why do I do this? Why do I cook so much? Why don’t I cater? Why do I nag my husband when I really don’t want to be a nagger? But then my dear friend asked me later if I accomplished my goal? The answer to that question answers all my “why” questions.
No, I didn’t accomplish my goal. I didn’t cook the brussel sprouts, i didn’t get the meal on the table on time, I didn’t get to relax as much as I wanted to and the skin on my turkey was not as crisp as I planned. But like most things in life, things don’t go as planned. I always keep in mind what my mother has told me all my life, do the best you can. I honestly did the best I could and I don’t look back. Yes things could have gone better but people left with happy, I can’t even walk stomachs. Although I didn’t accomplish my goal I was still happy at the end of it all because I do this for my family and for making memories. I do it because I learn something new each year. This year I learned how to cook a spatchcocked turkey. I learned that laying the turkeys flat on my cookie tray did not leave enough room and next year I will need bigger trays. I learned that two spatchcocked turkeys is equivalent to the same cooking time as a medium whole turkey, so my dinner will be more timely come next year.
Lastly, after approximately 28 hours later my husband’s “I really fucking hate you” turned into a “I love you and I really do take you for granted”. Here is a quote that says it all in a nutshell “A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected”. My family makes me feel appreciated therefore they deserve my best!
Here is the final thing I learned… don’t ask him to clean the bedroom, no one really ever does goes up there.